Leeuwenhoek had stolen and peeped into the fantastic sub-visible world of little things, creatures that had lived, had bred, had battled, had died, completely hidden from and unknown to all men from the beginning of time. Beasts these were of a kind that ravaged and annihilated whole races of men ten million times larger than they were themselves. Beings these were, more terrible than fire-spitting dragons or hydra-headed monsters. They were silent assassins that murdered babies in warm cradles and kings in sheltered places. It was this invisible, insignificant, but implacable-and sometimes friendly- world Leeuwenhoek had looked into for the first time of all men of all countries. ~Microbe Hunters

Tuesday, 6 December 2011

I cant deal with your buddy, you cant deal with my buddy...

I am not one for drama, or attention, or hurt feelings. Unfortuntely, I have stirred all of these things up with some of my roommates. As the semester draws to a close, stress is running high. The varying work loads and difficulties of our program and our study habits are all being tested. It has run from our paper tests that we have to write, into our everyday lives, causing drama in our house.

I feel like I am running away from all of this when I say I have decided to move out next year. I feel like I have failed on my word and I have failed the odds against us when I said we would make it through in one piece. I wanted to prove everyone wrong- not end up a statistic.

I canot afford to live alone, however with the city I am living in, that is not really even an option. For that reason, when my roommate of last year, Jillian, decided it to bee too much living with the girls we live with now, I offered to move out with her. After much contemplation, we decided to include another girl, Nicole,  from the house who we both thought to work out as a three-some in a townhouse in the complexes we live in now. I was really concerened as Krystina was thinking of moving back home as she has placement 2 days of the week, leaving to Amelia have no one to live with (Krista may not becoming back and if she does, she basically lives at her boyfriend's).

I just talked with Krystina and because I am sorta the link between these 2 sets of 2 girls, she said, when I told her, that it felt as if I had a really big choice to make, and in the end, I chose the other girls over her.    :'( I didnt mean to !! But im so glad she understands, and after she made me feel horrible for my decision, Im glad she made me feel better about it. <3

However, since our townhouse tawwwk (talk but I canged the spelling to include awkward) two nights ago, I still have not really talked to Amelia because of our minor differences, (which I have blown up to be gigantic) so I think that she still feels the same way as Krystina  but, I know, Im such a bad person for not re-initiating conversation...

GAWWW I hate being pulled in so many directions. I hate people telling me their problems with the other girls in the house. I hate having to choose 'sides' as if I am in elementry or highschool school again. This is driving me crazy! I wish I could type faster and make more sense of this situation on this stupid computer! (Im sorry this is more of a rant, than a blog, haha).

Oh, a really weird thing happened to me last night when I was trying to fall asleep. Usually I am kept awake by my train of thoughts, and last night, I had a lot to think about with the living situation of next year. I stopped thinking for a second, and I heard the song, "You're Gonna Miss This", by Trace Atkins. It scared me because I was in the middle of singing it to myself as I was thinking about moving out. Hmmm I hope I am making the right decision....

Darn gonna miss this and sure of it,

adot

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