Leeuwenhoek had stolen and peeped into the fantastic sub-visible world of little things, creatures that had lived, had bred, had battled, had died, completely hidden from and unknown to all men from the beginning of time. Beasts these were of a kind that ravaged and annihilated whole races of men ten million times larger than they were themselves. Beings these were, more terrible than fire-spitting dragons or hydra-headed monsters. They were silent assassins that murdered babies in warm cradles and kings in sheltered places. It was this invisible, insignificant, but implacable-and sometimes friendly- world Leeuwenhoek had looked into for the first time of all men of all countries. ~Microbe Hunters

Thursday, 26 January 2012

Duct Tape Extrordinare

I have this roll of duct tape on my desk and I am trying to remember why it's still there. I used it for my beer-pong tournament costume, to mend the bottom of my shoe and to wrap around the handle of my backpack to distinguish my backpack from all the rest of the black school backpacks.
Duct tape is like this: you make something out of nothing. It fixes all. It holds all materialistic things. You can make clothes and wallets for the homeless. Perhaps, if we all had a trait in us called duct, the world would be a better place. We could hold each other together, and mentally and physically pick each other up from a very deep slump we might have fallen into.
I took this particular roll of duct tape from my dad one time when he was dropping me off at school in his truck. I texted him, after he left, that I took his duct tape and it was my very first roll of duct tape I ever owned. I am proud of the duct tape. In the past, duct tape has helped my father with so much: holding on to what was lost, mending breaks, putting a roof over our head and walls up around us.
Now that I own my own roll, I feel so liberated and free. I can start using my duct tape to start building my life. Unfortunately, my house that is falling apart cannot be fixed with this duct tape, but I’m going to see how the trait of ‘duct’ is going to work for the next 3 months.

Duct good and sure of it,


Monday, 23 January 2012

The Colour Wheel

For lunch yesterday, I made myself a wrap with a compilation of the food I still had in my fridge. It consisted of: Cottage cheese, bacon, sweet potato hummus, red pepper, sweet peas, baby corns, and some honey mustard drizzled on top. It looked pretty…
Sometimes, when you mix some very vibrant colours together, it turns out good. I personally like it when blue and red mix together and make purple, the greatest colour ever.  Whereas, on their own, blue and red are very unique- you can’t mix anything to get them.  
If you were to take purple, now, and mix it with another colour, like orange, you make a gross colour of brown. Brown is not that pretty of a colour on its own, but when it is put below green, it makes a tree. My friend used to say his favourite colour was brown because it ‘complemented his skin tone’.
It’s weird. Sometimes it isn’t the most beautiful things in life that make people the happiest. It could be the dull things that you see every day, that we eventually phase out to be colourless are actually truly colourful things all mixed into one.
I seem to have too many beautiful colours happening all around me. I can’t seem to distinguish them each as their own individual slice of awesomeness. My entire house is falling apart. We have been mixed together for too long and we are forgetting how great each other is when we are not put into situations that we have been forced into.
I miss those times when we were all individuals all held together in a wrap of goodness with some craziness drizzled on top. People telling us we are crazy and how unwell it is going to go.
My wrap didn’t actually go as planned. I was disappointed. I am disappointed.

Darn good and sure of it,


Friday, 20 January 2012

Happy Birthday Grandfather Clock

                                         (Amazing to think you were once a tiny helpless baby)

(Now you're a giant helpless man)

This card is very appropriate, as my grandfather has been struggling with parkinsons since before I was born. I have seen him go down hill fast the past few years, and it kills me that he cant come up the flight of stairs to see in my townhouse. However, he takes everything with great humour and huge smiles, and he got a kick out of this card.

Then he asked me to talk at his funeral. Like, what the eff Grandad, its your birthday, how about we focus on getting old, not being put in the ground!?!

`Dont forget, Grandad loves you!`

Darn good and sure of it,



Of course, my body decided to betray me, yet again, and it woke me at 730am. My morning routine usually consists of waking up, and making as little noise as possible until i hear other people up, who inevitably beat me to the washroom, as I was waiting to hear them getting up to go shower. (Weird now that Im actually trying to explain in minimal words).

I woke to having an email from my boss. Some time between 2am when I went to bed, and 730am when I woke up, she remembered to ask me if I was interested in a position again in the summer. Yup, 438am to be exact. I dont kid you when I say she doesnt sleep, I think she lives in the greenhouse at work, and she only eats an apple a day. Thats all, folks, an apple. She also offers to share her apple. And, no, she does not grow the apples in the greenhouse.

I work in Horticulture for my summer break for the City that my little town resides near- and also my mother and father both work for. We plant flowers, dig out beds, cut grass, the whole shebang.

Thats not what I do.

There is another part of the city that Horticulture is responsible for. It seems strange to group trees and toilets, but I clean toilets. With the help of another brave female, we tackle the horrific messes of downtown public washrooms, then fill the rest of our day picking litter...not to mention our much-needed drawn out lunch breaks, and daily reorganization of our storage closets. We feel like we need this time, though. In order to see what we see in a day, you have to be in the right mind-set with adequate food in your system.

Im excited to go back to this. My coworkers are all very interesting characters, and I always have fun with them.

Im excited to see 'Safety Sasquatch' who is the mother of all driving nazis, taking his time, each morning, to crawl on the ground under the work truck to make sure everything is working properly (not that he would know if it wasnt).

Im excited to see neener-neener, and hear all her stories of the boys she likes at that exact second, but in 12 different variations of the same story.

Im excited to see Leonidis. I like pellet guns and shooting stuff and I think it is hilarious when he asks me a million times, 'did you actually shoot cans last night?' or 'omg did you actually bring a dart to my campfire?'

I am very sad to say that most super cool, crazy cooworker, whom I will name Pedro, will not be my P.I.C. in cleaning toilets this year. She has retired from being a student and has decided to get a big-girl job. I am proud, but it will be harder to clean toilets without the 'song for every moment' moments and the so sad stories of how her bf, Leonidis, didnt say happy birthday to her.

Darn good and sure of it,


Thursday, 19 January 2012

Thursday Night Pub Night

Hooray!! It's Thursday again, and we are all getting ready to go out to Pub night on campus. We have an addition, tonight. Amelia brought her cousin, Britt to party with us. It should be fun. She seems like a big partier. I think she might have to stay the night in our bathtub or some other place which is easy to clean up after. Unfortunately, when I left the bathroom cleaner on the bathtub this morning, apparently it was just a sign of "put it back in the cupboard", in stead of my intended message of "clean it mofos". Now, we have company, but our bathtub is freakin dirty. Wonderful.

Im having a good hair day, so Ill try and focus on that.

Darn good and sure of it,


Wednesday, 18 January 2012

These are those days

I chose the easiest elective class I could possibly come up with that is offered at this school. It is called Academic Learning and Success. I had to write a journal about when I accomplished something and was proud and I thought I would share it with y'all:

One hockey season, my school team was going on a trip to Lake Placid, NY for a hockey tournament. There was about 50% of the team in grade 12, and 50% of the team in grade 10. I was in grade 10 at the time, and I was excited to go on this trip. Unfortunately, the whole team wasn’t able to go, including none of the other grade 10’s for various reasons, so it ended up being me, and 7 other grade 12’s. I was very intimidated by them, as they were amazing at hockey (which is why we still went with only 8 players) and they all were really good friends. I felt like an outsider. After just the first game of having 7 skaters, every single girl on the team thanked me for still coming because they would have died without me- even though we lost 2-1 (pretty good still!!)
After that, I learned in order to make new friends, I had to come out of my comfort zone. I had never moved houses or schools in my life, so I never knew what it was like to have none of MY friends with me. I was so happy with myself and our team doing so well together and making 7 new friends. Now, this experience sounds petty as I was the only student coming to this school from my high school and I had to make new friends here. I’m very glad I ‘learned how to make friends’, and even more happy the “Miracle on Ice” team came in 3rd overall in the tournament. Way to go ladies, you rock!

Darn good and sure of it,

Happy Birthday, Daddy!!

 (After this many birthdays, you gotta expect some squeeks and rattles)
(Dont sweat it, as long as it aint leakin and stil turns over in the morning)

i didnt come up with this one, the idea was remembered from Hallmark.

Tuesday, 10 January 2012


It happened in a Metro station in Montreal ...........

There were protesters on the concourse handing out pamphlets on
the evils of Canada . I politely declined to take one.

An elderly woman was behind me getting off the escalator and a young
(20-ish) female protester offered her a pamphlet, which she politely
declined. The young protester put her hand on the woman's
shoulder as a gesture of friendship and in a very soft voice said,
 'Lady, don't you care about the children of Iraq ?'

The elderly woman looked up at her and said,
 'Honey, my father died during World War I, I lost my husband in World War II, I lost a son in Korea , and a grandson in Afghanistan . All fought and died so you could have the freedom to stand here and bad mouth our country. If you touch me again, I'll stick this umbrella up your ass and open it.'

................God Bless Canada !!!

Regifting and Charity Donations

Back at school!! I wish I could still be calling this 'home' but unfortunatley the hostility is still running high and it is with great sadness that I announce the place I live two-thirds of the year does not feel like home anymore. Oh well, one benefit of being a hermit away from people is I can finally start to blog again!!


So, this year for christmas, I gave into the ever-growing phenomia of the infamous 'online shopping'. It is actually very handy, especially for lazy/busy studying students, like me, to find gifts for absolutely anyone. I found my sister a pair of used snowboarding boots off kijiji, had none other than my moma go and pick them up for me. I did not leave my living room. Then I got my mom, dad and bro a Heart and Stroke Lottery calendar shipped to my address back home where we would be having Christmas. I had my sister get the mail every single day until they came so no one would see what they were getting. That time, I didnt leave the library. Handy, this online shopping!

I made little bags of jujubes and chocolate chips tied in a bow for all my housemates, and then decided to get them each something from Plan Canada. I chose baby chicks (cheapest thing I could afford, plus trying to off sest the accusations that I'm racist, haha) and attached a chick I drew to the card with a tag that read "+ a baby chick to help support a family in need".

We came back after the break and I tried to explain what the chick was to Ca. without going too much above her elementary skill level. Her facial expressions and body language made me fell stupid for even trying to explain that "No, sorry. I did not buy YOU the chick" you little selfish selfish child! She made it seem like it was a very useless gift to her as she could not see it.

SURPRISE!! On the contrary to your 'useless' nail dryer you got me for Christmas, it came in very handy: I regifted it. 

Ahhhh burn.

Darn good and sure of it,


Sunday, 1 January 2012

Save a Scarf, Ride a Vampire

This new ‘fashion scarf’ bugs the hell outta me. Since when has it become custom to wear a scarf- outdoor apparel- in a heated public area such as a mall or restaurant.  I blame the media, specifically, vampires. 

Ridiculous?? I think not. 

It seems that it could be the only reason a bunch of young woman would not want take off their scarf. I ruled out brain-freeze as the sugary slush drinks that usually induces brain freeze is forbidden in the female’s societal diet. I also ruled out a mass conversion to Islam as it seems the scarf is still the largest piece of fabric worn by these girls.
The fashion industry is now relying on the media portraying vampires as blood-sucking mutant creatures who live among us. In order to not have your blood sucked leading to the inevitable mutation into a vampire, you must purchase a scarf and wear it everywhere you go. The media is a powerful thing so kudos to the scarf industry for inventing vampires for more people to purchase a variety of colours and sizes of scarves.
I know I wasn’t supporting the scarf industry before. The only scarf I own was given to me, free, from the OLG casino the first time I went gambling. I still think scarfs are useless and I have thrown out all the other ones I have owned in the past.  I don’t need more than one to keep my neck warm when I am outside- I certainly don’t need one inside.
You’re welcome, readers, for opening your eyes to my world of reasoning behind strange fashion insistencies. Please resist the urge to buy a scarf as I promise you, vampires are not real.

Darn good and sure of it,


Card updates

Missed some birthdays and an anniversary...been busy with not having to procrastinate haha!

Dec 27th- Happy Birthday Sascha!!
(current status)
(Celebrating your Birthday and Christmas)
Dec 28th- Happy Birthday Andrew!!
                         We went out for his birthday and were reunited with some of our old friends we havent seen for 2 years, which was nice. Super rushed card though...
(Amazing to think you were once a tiny helpless baby)
(Now youre a giant helpless man)
Dec 29th- Happy 21st Annivesary Mommy and Daddy!!!
(In the beginning...You would come home from work, grab your slippers and relax. Later, you might surprise each other with a nice dinner. For your anniversary, you would look forward to the unexpected gift, even if it was another fondue set...
10 years later...You would come home from work and have your child labour team fetch your slippers for you, then sit around with your young family. Then the children would start whining, and no surprise, its dinner time. For every occasion, you would buy your own presents as the kids were not old enough to get you something other than a yogurt cup pen holder...
Now...You come home from work, and he dog has eaten your slippers and the only time to relax is on the toilet (which is why you take so long). Then you go to work around the house, and it is a surprise if you make a family dinner. People have stopped buying you gifts as you just return them, or they sit in the crawlspace for years...)
(Well, to get away from it all, hopefully these will help. You can buy a new pair of slippers, and you can eat out all you want. You will have everything you want, and you can start buying me gifts!) (I got them a Heart and Stroke Lottary Calendar)
Dec 31st- Happy 19th Birthday Baby Vinnyyy!!
                             Snowboarding with 'the guys'... yup never going out with just 8 guys again, even if I love yah all...  only got the outside of this super rushed card.

(Good luck, Vince)
Jan 1st- Happy Birthday L'anana!!!
(Happy Birthday)
(They say when you lose one thing you gain another. So as you say good-bye to another year, you look forward to sponge baths, diapers and re-learning my name every day... Welcome to the "really old" age)