Leeuwenhoek had stolen and peeped into the fantastic sub-visible world of little things, creatures that had lived, had bred, had battled, had died, completely hidden from and unknown to all men from the beginning of time. Beasts these were of a kind that ravaged and annihilated whole races of men ten million times larger than they were themselves. Beings these were, more terrible than fire-spitting dragons or hydra-headed monsters. They were silent assassins that murdered babies in warm cradles and kings in sheltered places. It was this invisible, insignificant, but implacable-and sometimes friendly- world Leeuwenhoek had looked into for the first time of all men of all countries. ~Microbe Hunters

Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Conversation with Grampa

Me: How is the weather where you are, we have no snow here...

Grampa: It's cold enough to freeze 'em balls of the darn pool table, here!! Cant go outside for nothin'!!

Me: Does that even make sense?? Awe, you'll have to come and vacation over to visit me then some time.

Grampa: Why? Do you need another lift over to them new walmart? You know back in my day... tune out the same story Ive heard many variations of many MANY times... you know, the one about walking up hill both ways in snow up to the waste with one pair of shoes in a bag to wear once you arrive somewhere...

Grampa: Your grandmother told me that your neighbours are out smokin' all the time at your doorsteps. Have you started smokin' with them?

Me: No, sir! I have a lung condition.

Grampa: ...Where'd yah catch that?

Me: The lung condition? They're in good condition. I don't want to ruin 'em.

Grampa: Well I'll be. You've grown up to be a brilliant lady, all your whistles whistlin' and all. Keep up the good work. When do we get to see you next? Are you home for Christmas?


No word of a lie, this is how the conversation went down (paraphrased, of course). I love my family, they make me smile.

Darn good and sure of it,



Great success!! (Borat voice)

I have been rewarded. I am happy to announce, last night, Krystina, my wonderful roommate washed my dinner dishes for me!! It must be because I was recently very angry at her for the mess she left that I had to clean up on the weekend she is such a good person and likes and respects me so much that she would, willingly, wash up my one plate .


The landlord of the company-run townhouse complex I live in, came to my door this afternoon. I complain to him a lot know him very well, even though he is the 3rd landlord we have had since May 2011.


We keep our unit very clean, unlike some of the other students, soooo he wants to show our unit to the big boss guys who own the company!!! I like to call it show-and-tell for dummies. This is the same company who made us go through hell with nothing accomplished for the first 6 months until we got MC as our present landlord. They lost 3 of my ‘October’ rent cheques, made us wait a month with a broken washing machine that was filled with water, and the list goes on. We are not a fan of them, clearly.


The pride that all my cleaning was noticed!!


They, this new Nazi regiment, want to send someone to ‘clean and tidy’ this place, and ‘touch up the pain around the light switches’ and ‘freshen up the place’.

I don’t know how I feel about this, the last time someone came to ‘clean’ this house, they did a fantastically horrible job. So much for moving into a nice new unit, there was disgustingness left all over this place, we had to clean it ourselves. We got $100 compensation for the cleaning, but still.

Okay, it was great that you want to show our house, but I thought all this was supposed to be done when we moved in. Maybe they might finally touch up the other spots on the walls too!?! We have been waiting for this day since we moved in!!

A little over a month until our lease is up, and they finally fix my house. COOL, GUYS.

 Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled to have someone else clean my house, too bad it’s still not one of the other girls lifting a finger. But excuse my scepticism; these people are not to be trusted.

No, no I cant just accept the free cleaning, I must always be difficult and over-analyze... I much rather my mailbox be fixed after some dumbo kicked in our lock.

Darn sceptical and sure of it,


Saturday, 25 February 2012

A Few New Rules

Last Friday evening, after the last midterm before reading week, I was picked up in a hurry by my grandmother and sister for our annual trip to America for a few days shopping (and the annual denying me of shooting a gun at the range we pass in the stereotypical 'gun-fanatic' America). I left some food in the fridge for Nicole who was staying until Sunday, and the others to still make food for their dinner that night.

I spend a good portion of my week deciding I was going to live in Huntsville, ON when I finish school. It is gorgeous. My father and I went up to go snowmobiling and it was wonderful- lots of fresh snow. Perfect for making my own igloo (jokes, stereotyping Canada). It has lots of snow in the winter, and lots of beautiful scenery in the summer as it is up in Muskoka.

After a lovely reading week at home at my parents' house, they kindly drove me and my tonne of stuff back to school. We parked outside and hauled everything up the outside set of stairs and then up my stairs to the main floor of my town house. It brings me great sadness to say that something died in our house...pretty sure it was my dignity. I pride myself in the living conditions that my parents raised me in and I adopted as my own. I like everything clean. I am very disappointed that my. house. was. appalling. My father would not even take off his boots, and my mom wouldn't put my bags on the counter. WAY TO GO GIRLS, YOU SUCCESSFULLY DROVE ME NUTS!

I have some pictures:
Sink has 2 cups and a dirty spoon, dish rack is full and washing gloves are hung over the side, not on the holder we have beside the sink. Notice we have TWO dish cloths going?!?
I dont know if you can see, but there is a film on the counter and not noticeable on the other side is chunks of what looks like tomato sauce 

The floor was by far the grossest. Crumbs allllll overrrrr and it looks like someone spilled something out of their fridge and didn't clean it up...

Is that quiche I see in the fridge when you left for 11 days?? A few weekends ago, they (Krystina, Krista and Amelia as fridge-mates) left moulding tomato sauce, a bowl of rice and thawing meat. Uhm gross?

Cant really tell, but there is for sure egg on the counter and also the Brita filter was left out

For that reason, I have made some rules if you want to live with me. (of course I am not going to post them anywhere in the house, nor will I hint that I have any such rules. My bedroom door doesn't have a lock and I don't want them to drown me in one of my various cleaning supplies or suffocate me with the cleaning rags or  swiffer dusters)

Rules are as follows:

·       -- When you are going to throw out the J-cloth, wipe the inside lid of the garbage can
     -- When the garbage is full, take it out. Check if the washroom garbage needs to be taken out as well, and the recycling
·         -- When you are done doing the dishes, scrub out the sink with the soapy cloth
·         -- Immediately when you are done at the counter, wipe up the crumbs so that there is no possibility that it accidentally ends up on the floor
·         -- Wipe the counter scooping up the crumbs and wiping them into your hand after
·         -- Make sure if there is anything stuck onto the counter, you scrub at it
·         -- Do not use green soap that will get all over the bathtub- it is too hard to clean
·         -- When you are shaving your legs, no oil in the bathtub, as the oil sticks to the grime and looks very dirty
·         -- When you have your period, take out the garbage very often, and WRAP YOUR PRODUCTS SO I DON’T HAVE TO SEE THEM
·         -- Spit your toothpaste into the sink and rinse, not onto the mirror or faucet
·         -- Toothbrushes need a home, they cannot just sit on the counter
·         -- Before you leave for an extended period of time, make sure you dispose of your perishables/already perished foods in the fridge and cupboards, then take out the garbage and recycling (not forgetting in your room)
·         -- Use the minimum threshold lighting needed for the task…side table lamps are for reading, not for looks
·         -- Empty water from kettle after use
·         -- Pull out appliances from under the cupboards when they are in use as to not make (more) mould
·         -- Do not wipe your toothpaste-covered face or dirty hands on the hand towel- they are for drying your clean hands after you wash them only
·         -- When there are 3 or less uses left in the toilet paper, paper towel, etc, replace the roll or leave one handy
     -When doing laundry, collect all the rest of the cloths in the house i.e. all the bath mats, hand towels and dish towels and also check to see if any of the place mats (that I hate so much) need to be washed
-- If you are leaving the house for a while, clean up! Dishes away, wipe counters, straighten up, etc because you never know who else will be home next/coming home with you

I know I have high standards for cleanliness, but I feel like the simple things are just civil and respectable to your fellow housemates and especially your guests. I'm very disappointed that the house couldn't have been in top shape for when my parents came to see the place again. I'm really disappointed that anyone would have to see the mess. 

Needless to say, I cleaned it up. Apparently I can't teach them this lesson when I have two midterms I have to study for, and the mess is all I can think about. Jillian has decided I have OCD. I should agree. 

Darn good and sure of it,


Monday, 20 February 2012

Valentine's Day - Take Numero Deux

Pretty sure the title of this post is in 3 different languages - English, Spanish and French. Just mixin' it up...

So I found 5 bottles of The Body Shop body wash in my parents' basement this afternoon. I discovered they are very VERY old after reading the label- tomato flavour/scent/infused. They must be from pre-historic times when my mother would have thought smelling like a tomato was delightful and a good way to get soft, smooth skin.

Anyways, since there are 5 (and I don't want them), and they are red, I decided they are going to be my late Valentine's Day gifts to my housemates. I made Valentine's Day cards as following:

Glad I have you to make bad decisions with. This body wash is a very bad decision. Enjoy!
Krista (fellow med labber):
Serum is red / Citrate is blue / Medlab is sweet / So are you (well, probably not, tomatoes are not a 'sweet' fruit)
Nicole (also a fellow med labber):
Serum is red / Citrate is blue / This body wash isn't so sweet / But neither are you.
All vegetables taste like fruit (refer to the new V8 commercial). These vegetables didn't have a chance before being turned into strange smelling body wash!
What better way to say you're awesome but to give you your least favorite food ground up to spread all over you! Enjoy your creamed cooked tomato seeds!

Darn good and sure of it,


Wednesday, 15 February 2012


It all started when Health Sciences study for exams. We go crazy. Jillian goes the craziest…and the craziness continues. One day, while studying for exams, Jillian was convinced there was a leprechaun in her room holding a knife and staring at her. Why she came out and laughed telling this story?? I still have no idea. I think that I thought she was having a psychotic break.  
Not too long ago, her Crispy Minis went missing from under the counter on her side of the cupboard. Nope, none of the girls we live with took them…it was this infamous leprechaun. For heaven’s sake, she told me last week that this leprechaun, still unnamed, was going to come out of my closet in the middle of the night and hit me in the head with a cauliflower. After laughing for about an hour at this response to me saying ‘he is not real’, I got out of my snug bed, and proceeded to check my closet. Have I become psycho like Jillian?? I know I have lived with her for a while now, but now, I’m afraid of what will come of our roommate telepathy. Will she try and take my clothes and then my “adot” necklace and then tear out my navel piercing resulting in the murder of poor me? That’s what happened in the movie we watched the last time she was at my house.
What is weird; I have begun to refer to the leprechaun as well. My chicken is missing. Did I throw it out by an accident, or did the leprechaun take it? What does a leprechaun look like anyways?? You just know, when you are talking about ‘the leprechaun’, you just know. He pops into your mind and you just know.
So dear Jillian,
You are the most messed up person I know, but you make me die of laughter so we can be roommates fo laaafe. And the leprechaun, he is cool too…beating someone is the best thing to do with cauliflower- no one likes it anyways.

Gett well soon, home-skillin-bacon-grillin-peanut-pina-colada biscuit <3 The house is lonely without you!!

Darn good and sure of it,



Im not in a sorority, so not that I really know what it feels like to be in a sorority, but I can only imagine… Sororities in Canada are much more laid back than in America, I know that, but still. This is why I would never join a sorority:

1. Everyone knows everything- From having your class schedules on our doors, like communists, to everyone know who you slept with and when and what you ate and when. The one thing everyone doesn't know is who stole the carbs.

2. Everyone sits down and bonds over the bachelor/bachelorette.

3. People shower together- sure it has crossed my mind to make everyone put their bathing suits on and jump in the shower together to save water. But then I remember, I would probably get aggressive when someone uses my spider-man kids 2-in-1 shampoo, and I elbow them and everyone else topples on top of each other because of the laws of physics and the domino effect. Instead, I tried to ship everyone to the gym on campus, but they didn't like that.

4. Lesbians- living in a house of girls, there has to be some (2) people switching teams. They go out on dates together- dinner and movies- and watch each other in the shower. *cough* Krystina and Amelia *cough*

5.  Everyone does everything together- everyone has the same friends, and parties together and the same things happen when they party- the same people get over intoxicated and ruin everyone else's night.

Whoa. I live in a sorority.

Darn _______ (speechless) and sure of it,


Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Will you be mine?

First of all, I do not belong to anyone cept my daddy, so NO I may not be yours... And when I answer the question just as I did, NO I still will not be yours even if it is just a 'cute saying'.

I do not understand the meaning or need for Valentine's Day. Okay, I get the fact that in this century, more and more people are losing their overall sentimentality, and thus, need this extra one day a year tacked on to their birthday and Christmas, to treat their significant other to something fancy/romantic/over-priced.

Really, it is the price that gets me. They are still going to have sex like they do every Tuesday night, but it just cost them half their pay check (well that's how it is with my roommates).  Those who long for the infamous 'Valentine', but end up along on the 14th of February, are still going to sit, alone, and watch chick-flicks like they usually do on Tuesday night and pig out on chocolates...They probably won't wait for the day after when it is all on sale, like I'm going to do (I will, of course, minus the self-pity).

My grandfather makes my grandmother breakfast in bed EVERY DAY and opens every door for her where ever they go. I bet back when they were my age, they didnt buy each other giant stuffed frogs from walmart for $30 on the 14th of February. My grandmother told me that, no matter what, they would wait until 2 days after Valentine's Day to treat themselves to a special evening. Why? Because Valentine'd Day was too busy and over-priced, and the day after is for when all the people who forgot to make reservations or had to work, etc., and by the 16th, they can finally go out and celebrate being together. They could even tell people they have been out every night since Valentine's Day and pretend to be rich like that... only my family...

By the sound of it, Valentines day was made up by a child molester-eater who would pass overly-loving love notes from Walmart to all the children in the class, then buy them plush toys to collect dust while stuffing them with heart-shaped chocolates and cinnamon hearts before throwing them in fondue pot to slow-roast.

(When I think about it like that, eww)

Anyways, if you have a Valentine, or even to your family or close friends, remember this:
People do not buy cards to say how they fell, they buy them because they cant. They buy into  the service that lets them off the hook.
Make your own cards, children. Tell your significant other how you really feel- thank you for spoiling me on this one day a year, or leave the goddamn toilet seet down you momma's boy. And, do not pass out 'I love you' cards to every boy/girl in the class. I will think you are a little whore, and my opinion matters.

Darn good and sure of it,