Leeuwenhoek had stolen and peeped into the fantastic sub-visible world of little things, creatures that had lived, had bred, had battled, had died, completely hidden from and unknown to all men from the beginning of time. Beasts these were of a kind that ravaged and annihilated whole races of men ten million times larger than they were themselves. Beings these were, more terrible than fire-spitting dragons or hydra-headed monsters. They were silent assassins that murdered babies in warm cradles and kings in sheltered places. It was this invisible, insignificant, but implacable-and sometimes friendly- world Leeuwenhoek had looked into for the first time of all men of all countries. ~Microbe Hunters

Thursday, 29 March 2012

Snakes on a Plane

I haven't done a presentation since high school in which the guidelines aren't outlined so very specifically that you cant go wrong, exhibit:

Med Lab assignment: What are the implications of gram negative bacilli on humans from the beef of slaughter houses in Ontario.
ALS (course short form) assignment: Snakes on a plane.

I haven't gotten to do this in a while, so naturally, I am going to push the boundaries. I am obviously going to be the one going to talk about the poor mice on the plane which has been overrun by snakes. I haven't actually seen the movie nor was this the actual assignment, so I have no idea what I'm talking about. But you get the point, I cant make anything relate to any assignments. In grade 11, for an American History class assignment on the most influential Americans, I chose to do Area 51 and Roswell. That's not a person, but the 'alien' that they found was, and that influenced the media and a lot of people at the time, and still does. I just cant do the cookie-cutter George Washington or Abraham Lincoln thing- its just not me.

Story is: I sent my professor an email with my presentation outline for her opinion on if it was offensive to the Social Science good-for-nothings in my elective class. She took great offence to it, and she called a meeting with me for this afternoon. 

I thought I followed the vague instructions for this presentation assignment to talk about why we took this class, what we thought about it, and what we learned from it. I took it because it was easy, I thought 'ALS' reminded me of progressive neurodegenerative disease of the brain, and I learned that (some) social science students are idiots for copying journals from each other in the easiest course they will ever have in university.

She didn't like that. I even drew pictures.

My prof, Ego Tistic, told me that  my parents raise a rude, ignorant, selfish smart aleck. Well isn't that a kind thing to say to a person who was emailing you before they presented to see if they were being overly-controversial. I refrained from talking in the meeting, because if there's one thing my parents taught me was to think before you talk. I couldn't think properly in order to respond, because she was putting me down so much I couldn't get back up. I am a strong person, but when something so unexpected happens, too much stuff goes through my head and I just have to walk away for a bit to collect my thoughts.

No time to think in university, children. It is the Prof's way, or the highway.

Things Ego Tistic told me:

-If I presented right now, someone might commit suicide (because I called this class easy)
-She was in premed and had all A's (no idea why this came out of her butt)
-I was rude and insensitive to the Social Sciences
-She showed my email/presentation to other faculty members
-I have no right to call her by her first name, Ego (even though she told us to in the first lecture because "it promotes better student-faculty interactions")
-I am disrespectful to my parents and I don't deserve to be in University
-I am never going to get a good-paying job because I don't follow rules
-Her latest book is about me (or going to be, I don't remember)
-She is almighty
-Some students in the class have a higher GPA than me
-It is completely inappropriate to bring Stephen Hawking into this
-I had to redo my draft of my presentation, or she would report me for academic misconduct

Conversation ended: "You should buy my book, you might learn something".

My message to you: you should buy my (Robert Fulghum's) book, "All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten".

Darn good and sure of it,



  1. yup...egotistical sounds like the perfect word to describe your professor...here is my theory: you thought outside of the box and to small insecure minds, this can be felt like a threat to their intellectuality (their intellectuality is just an opinion of themselves really) or in your professor's case, it may go against whatever she wrote in that darling book of hers. I know it could not have been easy to sit there and to listen to her rambling about her greatness and your inferior self. However, people will always perceive you based on how they perceive themselves. Clearly, she has a very high opinion of herself and everyone else is...well, not her. Personally, I think you should drop from that class and take something else that will actually benefit your studies. This class sounds like something she needs to teach so she can stroke her ego. Not really beneficial to your studies (in my humble opinion). Glad you kept your cool....losing temper is a sign of ego as well and according to this post, you are way ahead of your professor:)

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