Leeuwenhoek had stolen and peeped into the fantastic sub-visible world of little things, creatures that had lived, had bred, had battled, had died, completely hidden from and unknown to all men from the beginning of time. Beasts these were of a kind that ravaged and annihilated whole races of men ten million times larger than they were themselves. Beings these were, more terrible than fire-spitting dragons or hydra-headed monsters. They were silent assassins that murdered babies in warm cradles and kings in sheltered places. It was this invisible, insignificant, but implacable-and sometimes friendly- world Leeuwenhoek had looked into for the first time of all men of all countries. ~Microbe Hunters

Tuesday, 13 March 2012

They’re Dropping Like Mice In The Laboratory!

Okay so I don’t actually know if people intentionally kill mice, but I would imagine if they did, there would be bigger riots than those now in Syria. I also don’t play with mice in the lab, I play with Gonorrhoea and Staphylococcus stains and look at what they do to people. That is the life of a future Medical Laboratory Technologist (MLS-Medical Laboratory Scientist for those weirdo Americans who must be different).

How cool is that?

We specialize in Phlebotomy (drawing blood), Clinical Chemistry (biochemistry), Microbiology (bacteria, fungi, etc.), Hematology (blood issues), Transfusion Science (blood banking), and Histology (tissue sampling).

Again, HOW COOL!

Well some people don’t like the ‘I-have-to-be-smarter-than-doctors-in-3-years-of-classes-and-one-year-placement’ pressure, and they drop out of the program. This is the second to only degree program in all of Canada of its kind (and most expensive). In general, we work very hard and we have fun doing it.

There are some interesting characters in the program whom I have given interesting names:

3 Muskrat Ears- derived from 3 musketeers, these 3 girls do everything together- from wearing tight pants that show off their unattractive love handles, to going to Peru in the summer as vegans making the locals cook special for them all while still trying to get a summer job at GM.

Grease Lightning- this young gentleman is so funny, even though he doesn’t try to be. He slicks his black hair back and always wears leather (jacket or pants or shoes).

Black Ruth- This African American girl is the most annoying person you will ever meet. She pulls answers to lab questions out of your mind because she is so annoying you are just focusing on getting her to leave, you don’t care what you tell her.

Dark-as-night- derived from the dark night, a movie which I have not seen. This guy is from Africa, he already has a degree and he is working at the Children's Hospital in Toronto part-time and still going to school. He is the coolest guy, and most sarcastic, and most impromptu guy I have ever met. He is awesome. 

Curry Alejandro- He has a limp, but this limp changes sides on a regular basis. He has such a thick accent that I don’t know what he is saying in English, nor can I depict where his accent is from.

Thomas (the Talk Engine)- This young blonde is the dumbest person you will ever meet. She talks sooooo sloooow that you get side-tracked when she is presenting anything, or just having a conversation with. She is so monotone and boring, that we always joke saying “I think I can, I think I can…” to get her through the sentence.

Afro Man- Dude, this guy...biggest hair of my life! He sits at the front of the class and he is so smart, I don't know how he does it. He talks super quietly, though, so I don't know him well.

2 Cents Hammy- This chick thinks she is so smart because she reads the textbook before class and asks the most stupid questions. She is the most awkward person on the planet and she has some sort of a retainer and she sounds like she is slobbering all over me when she sits behind me.

In Fall of 2010, Medical Laboratory Science started with a total of 40 people. People stop showing up to class, and labs, and midterms, and then it is evident that they have dropped out. Sad. I like some of these people. They are my own family. We are down to 30 people and that is including the people who failed the year before or are stretching their degree out to 5 years.

If the going gets tough, take a step back and make fun of people. It makes everything better. Creativity is key.

Darn good and sure of it,


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