Leeuwenhoek had stolen and peeped into the fantastic sub-visible world of little things, creatures that had lived, had bred, had battled, had died, completely hidden from and unknown to all men from the beginning of time. Beasts these were of a kind that ravaged and annihilated whole races of men ten million times larger than they were themselves. Beings these were, more terrible than fire-spitting dragons or hydra-headed monsters. They were silent assassins that murdered babies in warm cradles and kings in sheltered places. It was this invisible, insignificant, but implacable-and sometimes friendly- world Leeuwenhoek had looked into for the first time of all men of all countries. ~Microbe Hunters

Thursday, 4 October 2012

Key to the House

In the summer, my roommate, Jillian, texted me and asked if I would be okay if her boyfriend, Tawd, could have a key to the house for, like, emergencies and stuff. I said no! There is not a chance in hell that some weirdo whom I dislike will be able to come into my  house whenever he desires and sit in my rocking chair, naked! 

What does social convention say about giving partner's house keys? I am called the 'hipster' of the house, and call me old fashioned, but I don't think house keys should be shared until you are sharing the mortgage or rent. 

Needless to say, both Nicole and Jillian, my roommates, have given their boyfriends a house key. Nicole has been seeing Hulk for 2ish years now, and I like him. He is very respectful, and doesn't carry his allotted key around with him everywhere, not even when he is coming over. It's like he just knows what I want him to know. It is not his house, it is Nicole's, and he is still a guest of ours. He knocks, rings the doorbell, which scares the hell outta me, and comes and knocks on my window, which scares the hell outta me even more. I have even answered the door to him carrying a bat because I didn't know who he was, then he apologized and said he should have texted me and told me he had to pick up a change of clothes for Nicole, that she was sick and staying at his place for the night.  

Then there is Jillian's boyfriend, Tawd. 

Tawd has a key to my house.

If I could take a restraining order out on Tawd, I totally would, but I have no reason to. I just don't like him. Fortunately, for the sake of Jillian, I have become good at being two-faced. I smile and greet him like a good hostess, I feed him wonderful semi-home cooked meals and have given him a shelf in our shower. (actually I don't know how that last one slid by me).

If by some magical miracle, Jillian and Tawd are still together by the time I share the link to this blog on everyone's facebook wall in 10 years, I should say I'm really happy for you, and the best of luck to both of you. 

Until then, I proceed.

The spark of this blog entry came this afternoon, when Jillian had to drive Tawd home or something, and he used his key to lock the door. Something that he does often. When she got back to the house, she realized that she was locked out. Tawd had locked my door, and because he didn't come back to unlock my door, she didn't realize she forgot her key.

This isn't your house, respect that, and get the hell out. Ugh I have a lot of problems with Tawd, and everything seems to be exaggerated because he has a house key. 

Gentlemen, get out of her pants, and get into her brain. The house key is not to be used as a booty call. Get to know her and her friends too. A girl takes a lot of advice from her friends, and if they don't like you, it isn't going to last very long. Respect her and her space and her other friendships, and keep some space, man! 

Ladies, get your head out of your boyfriend's pants, and DON'T GIVE THEM A HOUSE KEY.

Darn good and sure of it,


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